FAIL
I ate sushi for lunch. Yes, that means rice. Yes, that means I didn't reach 30 days... bleh
This whole brother, alcoholic, addict, thing has my nerves on edge. I just couldn't handle another day or chicken and salad for lunch. Yes, I should have planned something more interesting. but I had to be out all day, and it was the only option. So I said "screw it". I had a craving for sushi, and I went for it.
I went to an Al-anon meeting tonight, hoping to get back on an emotionally healthy track. That didn't work. Sometimes I loathe those meetings. They are more politics then anything. Aren't we supposed to be there sharing feelings and helping each other?
I'm not in a good place, I guess that's why I'm not blogging like I should be; daily. We all tend to share our happiness willingly, but keep secret our pain, don't we?
I don't know what else to write. I failed the whole30 today. Yes, I know, tomorrow is a new day.
Day 1.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Whole 30: Day 15... And Al Anon
Once again I found myself cooking a noncompliant meal for someone else... It's so frustrating! lol Why can't everyone be on the Whole 30 with me?! Darn these noncompliant eaters!
I felt like a rebel today. I didn't eat breakfast, and tried very hard not to eat lunch... Why?? I simply didn't wanna eat healthy food, so I wasn't going to eat at all. That lasted until about 1pm... At which point my son made me stop for something to eat, and of course, being the rebel I am, I didn't bring along anything to eat.
Don't worry, I made due at the food court, barely.
Then home it was, to cook yummy baked spaghetti and cheesy garlic bread for a couple who just had their first baby (the frg set up a meal train to ease them into their new life). I cooked that and silently cried as I chopped onion and cabbage for our own meal.
After dinner, I headed to an Al Anon meeting. I would tell you about it, but I'm sworn to secrecy. What happens in Al Anon, stays in Al Anon.
All joking aside though, I really needed that meeting. The family members of alcoholics are addicts too.
We are addicted to giving everything. We are addicted to being at the beck and call of our addicted loved ones. When I was a little girl, my mama first took me to Al Anon. I think it was because she didn't want me to grow up to be like her. She gave herself, 110%, to my dad and brother. She left nothing for herself. She wanted me to learn a different way. So far, I've done nothing but follow her footsteps, because in my eyes, she did what was right. But right by whom? By the ones who continue to hurt and take. I'm going to change that.
AD-DICT
noun
I felt like a rebel today. I didn't eat breakfast, and tried very hard not to eat lunch... Why?? I simply didn't wanna eat healthy food, so I wasn't going to eat at all. That lasted until about 1pm... At which point my son made me stop for something to eat, and of course, being the rebel I am, I didn't bring along anything to eat.
Don't worry, I made due at the food court, barely.
Then home it was, to cook yummy baked spaghetti and cheesy garlic bread for a couple who just had their first baby (the frg set up a meal train to ease them into their new life). I cooked that and silently cried as I chopped onion and cabbage for our own meal.
After dinner, I headed to an Al Anon meeting. I would tell you about it, but I'm sworn to secrecy. What happens in Al Anon, stays in Al Anon.
All joking aside though, I really needed that meeting. The family members of alcoholics are addicts too.
We are addicted to giving everything. We are addicted to being at the beck and call of our addicted loved ones. When I was a little girl, my mama first took me to Al Anon. I think it was because she didn't want me to grow up to be like her. She gave herself, 110%, to my dad and brother. She left nothing for herself. She wanted me to learn a different way. So far, I've done nothing but follow her footsteps, because in my eyes, she did what was right. But right by whom? By the ones who continue to hurt and take. I'm going to change that.
AD-DICT
noun
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Whole 30: Half way point!!
We made it, we made it!! No, we aren't done... But we are halfway =) This won't be a long post, as I'm super sleepy from spening the last several hours online, looking up deals and steals for a trip to Vegas! So my eyes are sore, and so is my butt from sitting here. So here's the food for the day:
Breakfast: Smoothie; carrot juice, coconut water, kale, banana, strawberries
Lunch: Roast turkey mixed with stirfry veggies, topped with an egg... eaten as lettuce wraps
Dinner: Pork steak topped with an egg and garlic greenbeans
Snack: tea and tea
Breakfast: Smoothie; carrot juice, coconut water, kale, banana, strawberries
Lunch: Roast turkey mixed with stirfry veggies, topped with an egg... eaten as lettuce wraps
Dinner: Pork steak topped with an egg and garlic greenbeans
Snack: tea and tea
Monday, July 8, 2013
Whole 30: Day 13
Today was HARD! It was nieces 6th Bday and I was surrounded by non compliant food! I was in charge of making the chili, so I took that oppurtunity to make myself and husband something yummy that we could enjoy as well. I made two different kinds... My normal, loved, chilli... and my Whole 30 chilli. People had a ton of questions about why ours was different... What the diet was about? What's paleo mean? Etc.
Overall, the people who ate ours, seemed to enjoy it! Sure, we just had chilli on this hot summer day, but we were able to enjoy some watermelon for dessert =)
I gotta tell you though, skipping out on the bday cupcakes killed me! In fact, I'm still mad! lol
Anyway, here's the food for the day:
Breakfast: Tea and pineapple
Lunch: chilli and watermelon
Dinner: Roasted chicken and Bean sprouts, cabbage, carrots, broccolli and onion, sauteed in olive oil and coconut aminos
Overall, the people who ate ours, seemed to enjoy it! Sure, we just had chilli on this hot summer day, but we were able to enjoy some watermelon for dessert =)
I gotta tell you though, skipping out on the bday cupcakes killed me! In fact, I'm still mad! lol
Anyway, here's the food for the day:
Breakfast: Tea and pineapple
Lunch: chilli and watermelon
Dinner: Roasted chicken and Bean sprouts, cabbage, carrots, broccolli and onion, sauteed in olive oil and coconut aminos
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Whole 30: Day 12
Wow, I missed a whole bunch of days! Too many to go over!
Quite overview of what was important. I had a REALLY bad day where I was just ready to quite and order a pizza! I was just done! But I turned to social media, via FB, and put my plans of quitting out there... I got a ton of support, along with some support for the pizza, and in the end, just talking about it, helped me let the cravings go.
So, SUCCESS! We are at day 12 =)
We spent the 4th of July with friends who understood our meal plan... And they were supportive after some coaxing lol Actually, we spent two nights with them! Grilling meat and veggies and not missing a darn thing! It doesn't feel like a diet at all! I try to explain to people that it's not! People think we're torturing ourselves... they urge me to just have the one cookie, it's not a big deal, they say!
After 30 days, maybe I will have the cookie. Maybe I won't have the cookie. But that's AFTER the 30 days =) We're almost to the half way mark. It has us thinking, what will we do when it's over? I know we introduce the food on the "no" list slowly. Dairy, sugar, grains, soy, alcohol (although we never drink anyway). I'm very interested in how my body with react to these things... Dairy and grains especially.
We will try to continue to be on our best behavior. Habits, ideally, should have changed after 30 days. If we see that we can't control ourselves once the 30 is over... It's another 30 days for us, this much we've agreed on. Brad is content doing the whole30 non stop. Me? not so much! So we shall see!
Breakfast: nada, I slept in
Lunch: Roasted chicken and salad
Dinner: Starfruit bbq sauce wings and beansprouts and broccolli sauteed in some coconut aminos
Quite overview of what was important. I had a REALLY bad day where I was just ready to quite and order a pizza! I was just done! But I turned to social media, via FB, and put my plans of quitting out there... I got a ton of support, along with some support for the pizza, and in the end, just talking about it, helped me let the cravings go.
So, SUCCESS! We are at day 12 =)
We spent the 4th of July with friends who understood our meal plan... And they were supportive after some coaxing lol Actually, we spent two nights with them! Grilling meat and veggies and not missing a darn thing! It doesn't feel like a diet at all! I try to explain to people that it's not! People think we're torturing ourselves... they urge me to just have the one cookie, it's not a big deal, they say!
After 30 days, maybe I will have the cookie. Maybe I won't have the cookie. But that's AFTER the 30 days =) We're almost to the half way mark. It has us thinking, what will we do when it's over? I know we introduce the food on the "no" list slowly. Dairy, sugar, grains, soy, alcohol (although we never drink anyway). I'm very interested in how my body with react to these things... Dairy and grains especially.
We will try to continue to be on our best behavior. Habits, ideally, should have changed after 30 days. If we see that we can't control ourselves once the 30 is over... It's another 30 days for us, this much we've agreed on. Brad is content doing the whole30 non stop. Me? not so much! So we shall see!
Breakfast: nada, I slept in
Lunch: Roasted chicken and salad
Dinner: Starfruit bbq sauce wings and beansprouts and broccolli sauteed in some coconut aminos
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Whole 30: Day 8
Today was Cash's second day of summer vacation and he's already bored! So we had a fun playdate with his fave little mamas =)
Meal-wise? I had to eat some roasted chicken out. Probably not the best thing to do, but it was grilled and tasted just fine, compliant wise. Fingers crossed there wasn't anything that crossed me over to the dark non compliant side O.O
I make breakfast and lunch packed up, to go, for my husband. I need to just start doing this for myself too! I'm important, aren't I ?! Yes, yes I am =)
So here's the breakdown:
Breakfast: nada =(
Lunch: grilled chicken and a side salad with no dressing
Dinner: Roasted turkey breast with lots of fresh herbs, crook neck squash sauteed with onions, and watermelon
Snack: iced tea and pineapple
Meal-wise? I had to eat some roasted chicken out. Probably not the best thing to do, but it was grilled and tasted just fine, compliant wise. Fingers crossed there wasn't anything that crossed me over to the dark non compliant side O.O
I make breakfast and lunch packed up, to go, for my husband. I need to just start doing this for myself too! I'm important, aren't I ?! Yes, yes I am =)
So here's the breakdown:
Breakfast: nada =(
Lunch: grilled chicken and a side salad with no dressing
Dinner: Roasted turkey breast with lots of fresh herbs, crook neck squash sauteed with onions, and watermelon
Snack: iced tea and pineapple
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Whole 30: One week down!
Yay! We've made it a week! AMAZED! O.O
What's changed so far? Headache was only slight tonight, not bothersome at all and gone before I knew it. My body is getting off the sugar =) Sleep is coming at a more reasonable time, which is like, midnight. Before, I never slept before 1 am. I'm not napping like I used to, with that lull in the middle of the day. Energy throughout is more consistant. It hasn't been this way since cancer!
I'm also drinking way more water. My body is CRAVING it. Not sure if that's normal? But I know water is good for me, so I'll take it.
Although I cook A LOT, the work load hasn't been too bad. Brad's taken on the task of daily dishes. YAY! So I handle food; he handles clean up. And oh my, is there a LOT of clean up! I've never had so many dirty dishes a day in my life!
Quality time together is a HUGE change that I didn't expect. Every night after dinner, we are in the kitchen for almost an hour together, while I cook the meals for his breakfast and lunch the next day, and he does the daily cleanup. We talk about our days, about funny YouTube videos we saw, about cash, about our good food, about what the weekend holds, etc etc. Prior to this, we actually had to plan meeting time several days a week in order to communicate! Sounds crazy, I know, but with our lives so busy and focused around Cash, him and I rarely just talked about... stuff!
So with that, I leave you with the meals for the day:
Breakfast: Egg over pork sausage and hot sauce
Lunch: Salad and grilled chicken at Charlies, brought own dressing
Dinner: beef stew with carrots, zucchini, onion and tomato, on top of cauliflower rice
Snack: pineapple and tea
What's changed so far? Headache was only slight tonight, not bothersome at all and gone before I knew it. My body is getting off the sugar =) Sleep is coming at a more reasonable time, which is like, midnight. Before, I never slept before 1 am. I'm not napping like I used to, with that lull in the middle of the day. Energy throughout is more consistant. It hasn't been this way since cancer!
I'm also drinking way more water. My body is CRAVING it. Not sure if that's normal? But I know water is good for me, so I'll take it.
Although I cook A LOT, the work load hasn't been too bad. Brad's taken on the task of daily dishes. YAY! So I handle food; he handles clean up. And oh my, is there a LOT of clean up! I've never had so many dirty dishes a day in my life!
Quality time together is a HUGE change that I didn't expect. Every night after dinner, we are in the kitchen for almost an hour together, while I cook the meals for his breakfast and lunch the next day, and he does the daily cleanup. We talk about our days, about funny YouTube videos we saw, about cash, about our good food, about what the weekend holds, etc etc. Prior to this, we actually had to plan meeting time several days a week in order to communicate! Sounds crazy, I know, but with our lives so busy and focused around Cash, him and I rarely just talked about... stuff!
So with that, I leave you with the meals for the day:
Breakfast: Egg over pork sausage and hot sauce
Lunch: Salad and grilled chicken at Charlies, brought own dressing
Dinner: beef stew with carrots, zucchini, onion and tomato, on top of cauliflower rice
Snack: pineapple and tea
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